TODAY

“The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.”
Sophocles

Today
I am tired, tired
Of longing and dreaming
Of waiting and changing
Walking an unending path
Back to myself
The one that is supposed to be waiting
And seems to have
Forgotten about me

Perhaps is just me
Peeking around and
Failing to see
It is raining today
Out there and inside of me

The light is so weak
I can hardly see
I take my blanket and
Broken hopes
The many wishes in my magic box
And hide them well
In the bottom of my soul

Perhaps is just me
Peeking around and
Failing to see
It is raining today
Out there and inside of me

I give up not giving up
And listen to the silence
In me
No answers, not at all
Nothing but a void
My courage
Is too heavy to carry on

It is raining still…
Relentlessly, nature sings its song
Depleted I surrender
My trembling voice

I have looked for fireflies in the darkness for so long
And bottled prayers with corks made of hope
I have looked at the sky in the middle of the night
Wishing for a passing star or a sign
And whispered my secrets to the moon
She can be seen from so far…
Perhaps she might reach that which runs from me
And gently pokes it to see
How much I need, I need to be seen

The rain finally ceased
But not inside of me
It is dripping in the letters with wounded wings
Sealed in that space for the invisible and beyond
Perhaps they do not fly high enough
Or deep enough
Perhaps they remain folded
In the wooden box with the blue feather
And a shiny stone
Is raining again

Today,
I am tired of seeking
I just want to be found
I lie down,
Still and weak
And afraid to feel
Hope hurts
There is no fire within
And I want to believe
It is not on me

It is raining again
Drops fall lulling me to sleep
There is something more
Much stronger than me
Perhaps testing me
I wish it could hear
Hear the plea of my falling leaves
Surprise me please!
I think to myself
I do not expect it though
How could I?
It takes strength to believe

Today
As Yesterday]I go round and around
I have been walking in circles
Can’t you see how long is taking me?

I utter a cry
A silent one
And let go
Everything seems empty now
It is so lonely down here…in here

Today I am just human
And I resist being it
I forgot why
I chose to exist
It is raining outside and inside of me…
Did I tell you this?
Today I am just human
And so scared of it

 

 

 

Credit Image: https://bethwalshphotography.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/colourful-fall-leaves-in-the-water/
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