I Don’t Remember…

I don’t remember when it started, I think that I knew all my life I was destined to fight this war. The burden of fate, the all-encompassing certainty that things shall unfold the way they are meant to; no matter how much you crave to have a choice. I don’t remember my parents, I was very young when they disappeared. My grandmother took care of me.  She barely spoke of them; at the beginning, I attributed this to the same nagging pain that their memory caused in me. Over the years, I gathered how the family had some secrets, I was better off without knowing- at least that’s what she had always said- and just went along with the silent agreement established among us. My grandmother had only a couple of photos over the fireplace. One where my mother smiled at my grandfather and another where she cuddled me while in the old rocking chair.

There’s no attic though, or hole on earth where stigmas can be hidden. I felt the prangs of power while running from a Rony, my best friend, and neighbor, who was trying to hit me with a paintball gun.  I ran into the forest and got off the trail down the slop where you could reach the river. I turned around to see if he was following me and stumble upon a root. The next thing I know, I and rolling downhill. I knew the cliff was close. Terrified, I tried to get a hold of something that could prevent me from killing myself; but I just kept gaining speed. I couldn’t stop. Grandma is going to be so pissed!  I realized what a ridiculous irony it was to cringe at the thought of “time out” when I was about to fie. I did the only sensible thing to do, in my situation. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the inevitable.

The air was cold, and my stomach seemed to be waiting to escape the fall climbing up my throat. Everything went black. For faraway, I could hear Rony calling me. Where the heck’s the tunnel, the light? How darn high is this cliff, will I ever reach the water? Am I already dead? Yes, that must be, I don’t any feel pain.  Just this waving, like if I was adrift… Ooops! I might not have made it to heaven! I am in the dreadful in-between!

I squinted and very slowly began to open one eye. The in-between looks pretty much like home! I thought. “It is home! I How is that_” I looked up to see had caught me, but there was nothing. “Holy Cow! I am floating in the air!”

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