The words seemed to be stuck in my throat. The lump in it warned me about the danger of allowing emotion betraying my promise and end up spilling truths that needed to be concealed. There was no ill intention. Of that at least, I could be certain. She was my best friend and I had felt compelled many times to open up to her. Nevertheless, how do you explain the inexplicable? What if in trying to do so, I dispelled my own certainty? What if I had been actually hallucinating? Would this eviscerating pain in my heart have been for nothing? How could I live without hope?
Eshain, had been very understanding. She had a tendency of her own to withdraw when faced with an intricated problem. But it had been almost two months since the encounter and my complete evanescence from life as I knew it. Of course, the fact that a male specimen was responsible for my silence, made it easier; after all, she has been the one pushing me to go mingle and the one adding my profile to the dating site. I could almost see her going through the matches trying to figure out which one had caught my attention. We were that close. That trusting… That she wasn’t happy with the idea of me not sharing “relevant information” and not introducing him to her was an understatement. She was hurt and angry and had stopped talking to me weeks ago.
How in the heck she found out where I was, it can blame on fate, darn curiosity or beautiful friendship intuition! She didn’t need to ask. She knew my “friend” had left me. My dear Eshain! Had already been mumbling curses and desecrating the male genre until she asked me if I would see him again. “It’s impossible,” was the only thing I could whisper. With horror in her face, she hugged me and apologized. Eshain, my Eshain; how could I have told you he wasn’t was dead!”
We both looked afar how the blue waves of the Pacific, washed the shore, leaving tiny shells and rests of debris long erode with time. “How many boxes did, he checked?” She asked empathically, referring to our list of non-negotiable and nice to have traits in partners we have sworn by. I smiled. She then asked me about his eyes. All I could do is immerse myself again in those deceptive clear pools of blue that pulled me in, without escape; deep into the dark and dangerous aura of the unknown he had brought with him and unable to rid myself of the mark claiming me, as his.
Photo by Magoi in Pexels