“… it was written I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice.”
― Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness
I asked a group of friends to read my story; a story I want to share as part of the process to build a new life in a new country and live it in my own terms.
A friend’s remark lingered on me all night… He was just telling me about the need to actively search for a place and space where I feel my dreams can be supported; still, I knew there was something more asking to be heard, and finally this morning it hit me.
I grew up under the idea that strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle. Although I can say today without doubt, that both; effort and struggle have shaped the person I am today, I could now see how being so immersed in them I had forgotten the role that happiness and “flowing” have in being alive. I have privileged and honored effort and struggle because they felt right and I can measure the reward and gift behind them; happiness and “flowing” on the contrary, seem to be something I need to earn…
So I decided that I will write my story again from the point of view of the miracles, gifts and things I learned and treasure too. I will share both and understand that one cannot live without the other. Perhaps then, I will get used to see challenges as precious gifts; and little by little come to accept deep in my heart that we are here to be happy and express our full potential.
I heard many times that joy and fulfillment are our natural rights, that we are perfect and whole just the way we are. If we could understand this truth and trust that this is what the Universe wants for us, suffering will no longer reign in our hearts or the world.
I think this is better motto to live, so thanks to my friend but the invaluable insight.
And you? What place have struggle and effort taken in your life?